I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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