Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
