I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
