Pregnant stripper...not hot.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
