so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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