If i come over, it means nothing
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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