filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize