Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
