We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
