I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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