I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
