Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
