Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
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she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
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Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard