do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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