Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
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She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
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Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember