when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.