I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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