That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
