Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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