Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
