Already got asked if we're dating
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
