Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
