she smelled like a LAN party
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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