Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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