take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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