im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
