I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
