my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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