ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
