So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
