she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
