the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
