My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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