Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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