My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
