How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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