Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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