im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
No subtext here. People are naked.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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