Im at strip club and am horny
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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