it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
