The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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