Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
