oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize