do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
