it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
