1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
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