She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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