She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
