Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
