i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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