some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
In other news, I just burned my penis
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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