guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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