hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
