That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
