he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
