I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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